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What good parent doesn’t want their kids to be happy and successful? But how do we do that, exactly?

We compliment and affirm, support them, tell them to chase their dreams, and teach them to live for something bigger than themselves. What else can we do?

According to experts, we should teach them how to be resilient and confident and build their sense of worthiness.  

Beyond that, here are five effective ways to build your child’s self-esteem.

Give Your Child Responsibilities

Studies show that children given age-appropriate responsibilities from an early age become highly successful adults.

Give them choices, too.

Having options and choices makes a child feel validated – that their opinion and what they think matters. 

Give young children some simple chores around the house. And let them choose between pancakes or waffles.

Their range of responsibilities and choices should grow with them as they grow to help prepare them for more challenging decisions they’ll face later on in life.

Will they whine and complain? Sure, probably at first, but they’ll thank you later. So, stay the course. 

Create Opportunities for Growth

Observe what your child enioys and captures their interest. Then help them grow by setting achievable goals in their areas of interest.

This opens new opportunities for your kids and builds confidence as they learn something new, and even making new friends as their social circle expands.

Remember, what interests them might not interest you. Support them anyway because they need to feel accepted by their parents. 

You might want them to play varsity basketball, but if they love painting instead, show your support; and whatever you do, don’t focus on their weaknesses and shortcomings. 

Help Your Child See the Bright Side of Failures

As parents, our hearts beam with pride when our kids master new skills and achievements. However, they won’t always win; they will sometimes mess up and fail. It’s human to make mistakes. 

Please let your child know that you’re not seeking or demanding perfection.

It’s about effort and progress, even if it means failing along the way sometimes, because while failing is never pleasant, it’s a crucial part of learning and growing up.

Failure keeps them humble, too, and can build resilience, helping them have the courage to persevere and try again, which isn’t even easy for adults.

However, our job as parents is to show our kids that we love and accept them no matter what. Period. No questions asked. 

Use failure to train them to have a good attitude during difficult moments, to be positive, gracious, and kind, and to always stay persistent and persevere.

Praise from Your Heart

Is your praise empty or heartfelt? 

Kids are intuitive and know if you mean it or are just going through the motions.

The next time you affirm or praise your kid, make sure it’s heartfelt and be specific.

Look them in the eye and tell them exactly why you feel like you do -be specific, and let them know what caught your attention and why.  

Affirming your child this way might not seem like a big deal to you, but it makes them feel accepted and loved unconditionally. 

Avoid Sarcasm

It’s easy to become frustrated and say things we don’t mean when the stress and demands of life get the better of us. 

But we must be careful because kids take everything to heart. 

When we blurt out sarcastic comments or jokes, they pick up on our tone and choice of language.

Remember, your child always seeks your approval, even if they pretend not to care. 

They want you to notice them and be proud of them.

At the same time, we can be overly critical of them: they’re lazy, misbehave, and talk back. But saying these harsh, sarcastic things doesn’t motivate them; it only makes things worse. Not only will you regret saying it, but your child will also develop a negative view of themselves. This impacts their emotional and psychological health, which undermines their self-esteem.

So, the next time your child frustrates you, take a few minutes to cool down before blurting out hurtful words and accusations.

As you can see, these five tips are pretty simple but will significantly impact your child because they make you a much better parent. Choose one or two to start implementing right now to help your child unlock their best life!

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Parenting is demanding, especially when you
have more than one kid because then you’re outnumbered!

Raising healthy, happy kids is hard enough by itself but when you add all of your other responsibilities to the mix, life can become overwhelming pretty fast.  

Even so, parents rarely admit when they’re struggling
or feeling overwhelmed because doing so can make them feel inadequate or that
they’re a bad parent.  

Burnout
is Not Stress

Burnout occurs when the daily stress of
parenting turns into intense exhaustion. It leaves the parents feeling detached
from their kids, and unsure of their parenting abilities. They stop enjoying
parenting and start fantasizing about getting away from it all.

Exhausted parents are likelier to neglect
their child’s physical, educational and emotional needs, and engage in verbal,
physical, or psychological abuse. They’re also more irritable and have
recurring thoughts of abandoning their families.

Self-Care
is Child Care

Since parental burnout can be harmful to the
children, any activity that allows parents to recharge their batteries and
avoid exhaustion should be viewed to be part of child care. In fact, the best
way to avoid becoming a “bad parent” is to take care of yourself.

Strategies
to Avoid Parental Burnout

• Get Out and About

Every now and then, you need a break from the
physical and emotional job of parenting. Let someone else handle things at home
for a day so you can enjoy guilt-free time for yourself.

One way to do this is by taking turns caring for the kids on the weekends for a block of time so you and your partner can each have quiet time to yourselves.

You can also hire a babysitter or trade nights of babysitting with other parents so that you can spend time alone as a couple. If all else fails, try to meet up for lunch in the middle of the workday when the kids are at school, assuming they’re in school (hello pre-k!). 

• Work Out

You need to take care of yourself to take care
of your family. Exercise is one of the best ways to take care of your physical
health. It releases feel-good hormones, boosts mood, and relieves tension.

A 30-minute workout three times a week can decrease
anxiety, including parental anxiety, by up to 70%!

• Maintain Social Relationships

Parenting can be isolating; many parents lose
touch with friends, family and activities outside of the home. However, social
and emotional health are just as important as physical health.

Plan social activities with people who care about you, including friends who have no connection to your child!

Also, make time for activities and hobbies that you enjoy such as painting, reading, going to the movies, etc.

If you have a hard time taking a break from parenting without feeling guilty, think of self-care as building up your energy reserves, and also as a way to become a much better parent, so you have more (much more) to give to your child.

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Many kids are anxious about going to the doctor, and a routine visit can turn into a major meltdown.

A big part of that fear is that kids don’t know what to expect. They’re afraid of shots (who isn’t?), and their imagination runs wild thinking everything is going to hurt.

According to child psychologists, parents can
help their kids manage their anxiety by explaining how the doctor’s appointment
will go. The more detailed the explanation, the less anxious the child will be.

Talk to
your Child

Ask your child why they are nervous and give
them a chance to share their worries. If your child says, “I’m scared,” help
them figure out exactly what it is that’s making them feel uneasy.

If they can’t pinpoint why they’re afraid, start
walking them through the process and ask them to stop you when something sounds
scary.

Validate
your Child’s Feelings

As a parent of a child who’s afraid to go to the doctor, your first instinct is to reassure them that everything will be okay. While there’s nothing wrong with that, make sure your child feels heard.

Start by validating their feelings by letting them know you understand how they feel. Share an experience of a time when you were nervous and how you overcame it.

Don’t
Make Promises You Can’t Keep

If your child asks, “Am I going to get a shot?”,
tell the truth.

Studies show that kids who aren’t expecting a shot get a lot more upset than kids who have had time to prepare.

Also, resist the urge to promise it’ll be painless. Instead, be open about what you know and don’t know. Emphasize that going to the doctor is how we stay healthy; and healthier people have fewer visits to the doctor.

Give
your Child Something to Look Forward to

If your child knows that you’ll be doing something fun together after the doctor’s appointment, they might be less afraid. However, don’t give the impression that they will lose out on the treat if they’re not brave.

The point is to give your child something to look forward to next time, not to reward or punish them. Don’t forget to tell them how well they did when you leave the doctor’s office.

When
all Else Fails

Some kids have latrophobia, which is an irrational fear of doctors and hospitals. They are not just anxious about doctor’s visits; they are deathly afraid of them.

In these cases, therapy is the way to go as it can help the child identify the cause of the phobia and overcome it eventually.

You want your child to have a positive association with seeing their doctor. Reduce their fear and increase their trust with these tips.

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