Whether chosen or forced, having to make a change can make you panic. It’s easier to do nothing…to stay in a familiar situation because it feels safer than the unknown.

That’s one way to look at it. 

But let me submit this perspective for your consideration: Perhaps you should lean into this change because it means things are shifting in your life. It can be a time of growth, opportunity, and even greater love and happiness.

But knowing what to do or where to begin can be scary and overwhelming. If you or someone you know is in this situation, this post is for you. 

Here are five steps to help you decide what to do next.

Step Back & Evaluate

Step back and give yourself a little space between yourself and the emotions of the situation to see the big picture. 

Where are you now?

How would you like things to be?

What do you think you should do?

What do you want to do?

Where do you want to go with your life from here, and what will it look like when you get there?

We often struggle because we don’t fully know where ‘there’ actually is. 

When you’re at a crossroads, evaluate what’s working and what isn’t and what it might take to be happier and more satisfied with your life.

Step back to see the quality of your life and the emotional landscape of your life. You’ll have a clearer picture of where your heart is pulling you and the steps you need to take to get there.

What Brings You Joy?

Dig deep and do some soul-searching to understand what motivates you and brings you joy. Ask:

• What drives me and makes me excited?
• What are my values, standards, and beliefs?
• What do I stand for?
• What do I stand against?
• What will I not tolerate or put up with anymore?
• What contributions do I want to make to my community?
• What’s most important to me?
• What skills, talents, and interests do I bring to the table?
• What difference do I want to make with my life?

Explore Your Passions

What are you passionate about? Make a list. Have you put them on the back burner, or are they part of your life?

Explore and analyze your passions emotionally and intellectually. Try this: imagine how each passion impacts your thoughts and emotions.

Savor this step; enjoy it; take your time. Don’t worry about whys, could’ves, would’ves, should’ves, or regrets like shouldn’t haves; in other words, don’t be overly analytical. 

Connect more with your subconscious – with your inner self – to discover what resonates with you and your core values.

For example, consider positions at industry-leading businesses if you value innovation and technology. On the other hand, if you value family culture more, consider a job at a small family-owned organization.

Improve: Learn New Skills

No matter how many excellent skills you already have, learning something new is always nice and a great plan.

What are some of your interests? What do you think you might enjoy learning? Then, look for places in your community or online to take classes.

For example, consider applying to an art program if you want to learn more about graphic design.

Or, if interested in gardening, apply for a job at a garden center, park, or arboretum.

Whichever you pursue, set short-term goals following the SMART framework. This framework ensures that your goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-based.

Please Let Go of “But What If It Turns Out Worse” Thinking… 

Change is scary because we don’t know what to expect from our decisions. 

The idea that “I’m not happy now, but it could be worse” is disempowering thinking that keeps you stuck, low, and minimized. 

Fear-filled thinking paralyzes you in a state of inaction and apprehension.

Instead, trust yourself…have confidence in yourself and let go of that kind of thinking, at least for a few seconds, and ask: “Sure, it could be worse, BUT isn’t it possible it could be better, too, maybe a LOT better? In fact, what would it look like, and how would it feel if things were better?”

Things getting worse is an option. But things getting better is an option too! In fact, there’s a chance that things might get worse before they get better because you’re learning and growing into a new way of life. 

You can live in fear and worry about things getting worse if you make a change, or you can live in hope and imagine things getting better. 

The fact of the matter is that you pay the price for doing nothing and staying where you are, and you pay the price for deciding to make a change and moving forward; both decisions will cost you, but one is more expensive; it’s up to you to decide which one costs more. 

The easiest thing to do is to do nothing… but, in the end, how easy will it really be?

Give yourself a positive outlook and the possibility of a bright, optimistic future. Let go of fear and worry for a few minutes to imagine what your life could be like. Now, live in that moment for a few minutes.

Final Thoughts

Most of all, have faith in yourself and know, come what may, you can handle it. And with that mindset, maybe change isn’t somethinging to be dreaded or feared. 

Life is too short to be unhappy, unfulfilled, and unsatisfied. 

So, be open to whatever life brings your way; you might be surprised, in a good way, because the outcome might be happier and brighter than you ever thought possible or imagined. 

Yes, life can be scary and tough, but it can also be extremely rewarding. 

All you have to do is take that first step to discover your true purpose, live it, and be passionate about life every day because anything else isn’t living; it’s just existing.

The post 5 Steps To Decide What To Do Next appeared first on Lifestyle.

Why do we waffle back and forth and procrastinate on life-changing decisions, potentially losing out on opportunities, resulting in our lives being directed and shaped by other people’s choices and agendas? 

It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of indecision and second-guessing when facing big decisions. 

The good news is you have what it takes to make good choices. So use these steps to make the best choice confidently and drama-free the next time you face a significant decision.

Make Decision-Making A Process

Reduce the drama and overwhelm by making decision-making a process instead of a drama-filled cliffhanger.

Treat decision-making like goal-setting. You know how it works. You chunk big goals into milestones and smaller goals. Follow the same process with decisions.

With decision-making, for example, instead of deciding whether to change jobs all at once, list pros and cons, research different job opportunities, and talk to people in your network.

Is a big decision facing you? List what you need to know to feel comfortable enough to make a solid, informed choice. Then start working through your list one item at a time. 

Reframe Your Thinking

What would happen if you saw decisions as opportunities for growth and learning instead of potential mistakes overflowing with fear and regret?

This optimistic mindset shift helps you approach decision-making confidently.

Set A Deadline

To counteract procrastination, set a deadline for making the decision; otherwise, you’ll keep putting it off. 

And when you make your final decision, celebrate!

Evaluate The Consequences

List all your options and then think about any potential consequences. What will happen if you choose one path over another? 

Draw a line down the middle of the page and list the pros on one side and the cons on the other to see things more clearly. 

Which option has the most pros? 

And which cons, if any, can you live with and turn into benefits along the way? 

For example: Let’s say you’re trying to decide whether to go on a road trip with your friends or to stay home and catch up on some work. 

List each option’s pros and cons to help you decide.

Option 1: Go on a road trip with your friends.

Pros:

• Spend quality time with your friends.
• Get a break from work and daily routine.
• Create new memories.
• Relax and recharge.

Cons:

• Fall behind on work.
• Spend money on the trip & possibly go into debt.
• Miss out on work opportunities.

Option 2: Stay home and catch up on work.

Pros:

• Get ahead on work.
• Avoid spending money on the trip.
• Stay on top of work opportunities.

Cons:

• Miss out on quality time with your friends.
• Get stuck in the rut of daily routine.
• Risk burnout from excessive work.
• Feel like you’re living to work instead of working to live.

Weighing the pros and cons helps you to connect with what’s most important to you now and in the long run. 

Seeing the big picture helps you make an informed decision that supports your goals, values, standards, and priorities. And it can help you to know if you should seek the advice of others for help in making the decision. 

Seek Trusted Advice

There’s nothing wrong with bouncing ideas off trusted friends and people you respect. 

Seek the opinion of family, loyal friends, or respected coworkers who love and support you, and want what’s best for you!

Perhaps they will have valuable insights you didn’t think of. And if they don’t, no harm was done. Thank them and move on. 

Chronic Indecisiveness

If putting off making decisions is an ongoing problem, maybe you should get a coach or mentor for help with navigating the decision-making process and overcoming procrastination. 

Please, Be Decisive

Usually, you’re much better off making a decision because even if it’s not the best one, it’s still better than not making one at all. After all, you can always adapt or adjust to make things better along the way.

Action is always better than inaction.

By overcoming procrastination, the decision-making process is better and quicker. 

By taking small steps, reframing your thinking, seeking support, and setting deadlines, you can make significant decisions more easily and confidently. As a result, you’ll be taking action to unlock your best life!

The post How To Become More Decisive appeared first on Lifestyle.

And self-control is “restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.”

Imagine the kind of life you could unlock if you were that person. 

Well, you don’t have to imagine because here are ways to strengthen your powers of willpower and self-control. 

Willpower

Strength starts on the inside.

Will power is having the will to act – to follow your heart and bring your vision and dreams to life!

Willpower is the courage to face your inner conflicts and temptations and make them subject to your vision, plans, and goals.

It’s the discipline to stop doing what’s keeping you stuck in the kind of life you don’t want and do what you must to unlock your best life, even when you’d rather be doing something else right now because what you want for yourself, in the long run, means so much more to you! 

So you go to the gym or take a run, schedule your day before going to bed, or take charge of your finances and make a plan and budget to get out of debt to secure a stable financial future. 

Living the life you desire takes heart and soul. But the power of decision issues comes from the command center of your brain, the prefrontal cortex (PFC). It’s the part of the brain responsible for regulating our behavior and decision-making abilities.

The quality of your decisions and ability to follow through depends on the quality and strength of your PFC. 

To strengthen your willpower, strengthen your prefrontal cortex by:

• Eating a nutritious, well-balanced diet
• Exercising 3–5 times a week
• Getting quality sleep each night
• Managing stress

Replenish Your Willpower Regularly

Experts claim we start the day with only so much willpower; the more we use, the less we have; willpower runs out fast.

Think of it this way. Willpower is like a muscle we train at the gym that fatigues from repetitive use and overload, but that’s what it takes to build muscle; same with willpower. 

How to Replenish and Condition Your Willpower

To condition and sustain your willpower, practice these tips to keep it replenished: 

1. Center and ground your soul daily with prayer and meditation. 
2. Learn breathing techniques to reduce stress and be calm.
3. Practice daily affirmations to keep your vision front and center. 
4. Do the important things NOW and schedule other stuff for later.  
5. Avoid addictive substances that alter your mind and weaken the PFC, like alcohol, nicotine, and too much sugar.
6. Disconnect from screens and the virtual world. Live YOUR life!

Self-Control

Willpower + self-control = a powerful, almost unstoppable life.

Self-control is “restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.”

Do you use willpower to direct self-control, or self-control to direct your willpower to create the outcome you want?

Some say that we use self-control to direct our willpower. Regardless, there’ll be times when we must choose not to do something, like refraining from supersizing our meal or passing on the chocolate cake when trying to lose weight. 

It also means we’ll have to do certain things to manifest our vision and intentions and get things done, especially when we don’t feel like it because it’s unpleasant, not fun, or uncomfortable. 

Success takes sweat and effort, which usually involves an uncomfortable process. So what? Being 100% comfortable 100% of the time isn’t the most important thing in life. Growth = expansion; being stretched doesn’t always feel good. 

Ego Depletion

Each time you use self-control, which is your power to make the better choice in the moment of decision, it diminishes, just like willpower. 

Experts refer to this as ‘ego depletion,’ and it happens because you spend most of your waking hours making decisions and exerting your willpower, which can leave you feeling depleted and exhausted at the end of the day (and prone to make poor decisions in the evening hours that you’ll regret the next day).

How to Replenish and Condition Self-Control

You can reduce the impact and effects of ego depletion by improving your level of self-control. 

Many techniques used to boost your willpower are the same for self-control, like getting good sleep and managing stress, while others are slightly different.

Have a look at these ways to replenish and condition your power of self-control: 

1. Be your own best friend by practicing self-compassion.
2. Take charge of your emotions and urges instead of letting them control and regulate your life. 
3. Become more aware of your wants and needs and acknowledge them to direct your attention and energy toward self-improvement.
4. Manage your time and energy more efficiently by intentionally organizing your time to support YOUR life and dreams.
5. Create short and long-term goals to stay motivated, with daily tasks to cross off important milestones every week, two weeks, month, and every quarter. 

Your Life Is Within Reach…

The life you’ve wanted to live is within reach. It’s never too late to get started, no matter how many times you’ve started and stopped in the past. Who cares! Just start living today! 

You’ve been blessed with the amazing powers of self-control, willpower, and free will! But no one will unlock your best life for you; that’s something only you can do. You’re stronger and more capable than you realize. Use your God-given powers to start living the life of your dreams today.

The post Developing Willpower And Self-Control To Unlock Your Best Life appeared first on Lifestyle.

When making big decisions, sometimes you think you have everything figured out and know what to do. Easy. 

But there are times when knowing what to do can be a real struggle because there’s no coming back from certain decisions.

So, next time you’re at a crossroads wondering what to do, here are some tips to make navigating that big decision feel a little safer and easier.

Be Gracious with Yourself

Change can be hard sometimes, no matter how decisive you are, even when you know it’s for the best. 

Even when you know things must change, there’s something comforting about clinging to the status quo. 

Some people choose to stay in a toxic situation because the fear of the unknown is more uncomfortable than the pain they face daily in the situation they wish would change. 

So, please be gracious to yourself when you feel timid or reluctant to make that big decision; change is hard.

There are no guarantees in life. 

All you can do is take charge of your life by making the best decision you can with the cards you’ve been dealt to create a brighter future.

Make a decision and move forward, making course corrections along the way. Change is scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Regret.

And remember, not all decisions will feel good at first, so give it some time; allow the decision to take root. Give yourself time to get used to it and, as they say, “bloom where you’re planted.”

Honor Your Why

To give yourself peace of mind and heart, remind yourself why you’re making such a big decision, and remind yourself often.

It’s easy to tremble with self-doubt after making a life-changing decision, asking yourself, “What have I done?”

During those moments, make a list of the reasons why making this decision is so important to you.

Honor your why, for it’s your compass leading you to a better place and keeping you on the right path as you journey through the unknown.

Maintain Routines

Maintaining routines can reduce stress and anxiety when going through major changes.

Routine(s) can be a source of certainty and stability – something to rely on when navigating uncharted waters. 

Choose a routine that grounds you. Maybe it’s a special morning routine that includes exercise and solitude before you rush out into the busy world. Or perhaps you create an evening routine to unwind and soothe your soul before bedtime. 

Routines will give you a sense of security and control as you adjust and adapt to life-changing decisions. 

Keep A Journal

Your journal is for you. It’s your private reflection on your personal experiences. Plus, it can be therapeutic.

Trying to process complex emotions in your head can make you feel all bottled up. There’s something soothing to the soul about putting pen to paper and writing about what you’re going through. In the future, you can look back and see how brave you were and how far you’ve come. 

Write without judgment or condemnation; your thoughts and emotions are for your eyes only. 

With time, you’ll see how much you’ve grown and that what once made you feel anxious and afraid no longer has a hold on you. You’ll see how resourceful you are and will face your next challenge with more grace and courage. 

Final Thoughts

Whether you feel excited or apprehensive about a significant change coming your way, remember that you’re not the only person dealing with that kind of situation; others are going through the same thing and emerging victorious and successful. If they can do it, so can you.

So, when facing big decisions, think about why you must make a change and then make a plan; it doesn’t have to be perfect. And be gracious to yourself and honor your why. As you take action and move forward, you’ll see in the end that many of life’s big decisions weren’t as scary as you feared they’d be and will have led you to an even more amazing and happier life in the end. 

The post Four Tips For Help With Making Life’s Big Decisions appeared first on Lifestyle.

Maybe we do it because it makes us feel more in control…or because we want everything to be perfect. Whatever the reason, here are four ways people make life way harder than it has to be.

Do you have unrealistic goals in life?

Who sets our goals? Well, we do!

We control our expectations and goals.

Setting unrealistic or unachievable goals makes life harder.

Sometimes we set unrealistic goals when trying to escape a painful situation, or when we get really excited about something!

Life gets a little bit easier when we take time to count our blessings and live each day from a place of gratitude.

Gratitude breeds contentment, and it helps us to enjoy the journey, too.

Being grateful and content, while intentionally working to improve your life through small, daily actions, creates a much different quality of life than being worried and stressed out all of the time, trying to escape a situation.

Living with a sense of peace makes life easier. Living with sense of panic makes it harder.

Counting your blessings and taking consistent action towards reaching your goals makes life easier. Period.

Do you compare yourself with others?

Social media can be a blessing or a curse. It quickly becomes toxic when we compare ourselves to others.

Keep in mind that people on social media rarely glorify their failures.

Usually, when someone posts something on Facebook or Instagram, it’s their best moments.

Why would we ever compare ourselves to that? It makes no sense, plus it makes life so much more difficult.

Someone may look glamorous in a photo they posted, but what does their life look like off camera?

Strive to become YOUR best; live your life, not someone else’s. There will always be someone richer, smarter, and better looking (remember beauty is in the eyes of the beholder).

The ONLY person you should compare yourself to is your former self.

Look at how far you’ve come, how much you’ve improved, and who you are now.

Are you scared to take risks?

Comfort zones. We all have them…and we like staying in them. We tend to be risk-averse; it’s our nature.

But, do you ever feel stuck, trapped, or in a self-made prison?

Maybe taking a few well-calculated risks is just what the doctor ordered.

We need to will ourselves to step beyond our comfort zones because that’s where we learn and grow, and where life becomes less monotonous and more exciting.

What kind of risks are we talking about?

Are we talking about throwing caution to the wind and finding a mountain to climb and jump off? Maybe. But probably not, especially if it’s your first mountain and first-ever base jump.

There are other risks, though. Scarier ones. Sometimes to make our lives better we have to risk being rejected by people, or risk losing money by making calculated investments. Or, it could be starting over in a new place where no one knows you, but you do it anyway because you need a fresh start.

Are you taking risks or playing it safe?

Set one or two simple short-term goals to improve some part of your life. Once you overcome that challenge, set higher goals; take more risks.

We make life harder when we insist on living within the safety of our comfort zones.

Do you attribute hostile intentions?

When someone does something that hurts you, do you believe it’s because they intended to?

Most people don’t intend to harm you intentionally.

We make life more difficult when we assign bad intentions to people’s actions towards us.

Do you think that your partner is ignoring you? Think of it this way: Maybe they’re just tired or preoccupied with something at work. Remind yourself that your partner would never do anything intentionally to hurt you.

The person who cut you off in traffic could be out of work and is rushing to a job interview – he or she didn’t do it to make you mad.

Life gets really hard when we take things personally all the time. The world isn’t out to get us. Sometimes things happen out of coincidence.

Attributinng hostile intent will only make you feel angry, hurt, or sad.

Now let’s summarize what we discussed: Learn to worry less about others’ intentions towards you; they’re dealing with their own stuff and aren’t being malicious.

Learn to take intelligent risks, take chances, and set realistic goals. Life won’t get better until we change our habits. Want a fulflling life? Step out of your comfort zone.

And, lastly, please don’t ever compare yourself to anyone else; it’ll make you feel miserable. Be grateful for your blessings, and have a vision for a better life.

Image by Elias Sch. from Pixabay

The post 4 Ways You’re Making Life Harder Than It Has To Be appeared first on Lifestyle.

Overanalyzing is like yeast; it makes things grow and grow and grow until something cute and small becomes monstrously huge with fangs and claws.

Overanalyzing turns positive situations and relationships into negative ones by focusing on faults, shortcomings and drawbacks, all of which pile ever higher as the over analyzing continues.

People who are prone to overanalyzing never fully allow themselves to enjoy the moment. Everything in their life must be scripted for them to feel safe and happy.

Their feverish need for security, which is driven by fear, compels them to overanalyze and deconstruct everything before it happens.

Paralysis by analysis robs them of precious life .

Very little gets done and dreams are left at the starting gate.

These dear people remain stuck, trapped, and frustrated, but at least they’re safe (which is usually just a self-imagined illusion).

There is a HUGE difference between thinking things through and overanalyzing.

A wise person thinks through the situation, relationship or opportunity from all angles within reason.

Here’s the main difference: People who think things through actually move forward once they’re research is completed, whereas people who over analyze stay frozen by inaction because of all the scary “what-ifs?”

Overanalyzing kills your dreams, joy and happiness.

Here are four ways to overcome overanalyzing and start living your life.

 1) Expand Your Perspective – Consider The Big Picture

One of the best things you can do is to ask questions like these:

Will this really matter in five years from now?

What will I lose if I don’t do this? What will I gain?

What will I miss out on if I don’t move forward?

What are some possible consequences? What are some possible rewards?

How might my life become worse? How might it become better?

If it’s clear that you will gain more than you will lose, and your life will be better, then it’s probably time to move forward, so  get on with it already!

 2) Create A Launch Window For Go/No-Go

When NASA reaches for the stars, it uses a launch window for when it’s safe to launch; after the situation is analyzed, it’s either go or no-go. Simple. Effective.

Create your own go/no-go launch window by giving yourself a limited amount of time to make your decision.

People of inaction give themselves an unlimited amount of time to make a decision.

An easy way to start practicing a decision-window is at a restaurant; give yourself thirty seconds to look at the menu and decide what you want.

For bigger decisions, take a few hours.

For life-changing decisions that might affect you greatly or those closest to you, consider limiting your decision-window to a few days or a week; don’t let it drag on.

Disclaimer: These time frames are random and for example only. Don’t follow them blindly; create your own.

Consider your life, situation, personality and temperament in crafting your own set of decision- windows for making small, medium and large decisions.

Setting a time limit makes you come to a decision one way or the other.

3) Reduce Stress

Stress can have a negative influence on the decision making process. If you’re not a quarterback in the NFL, as a general rule of thumb you will make your best decisions when life isn’t blitzing you. You perform best when feeling relaxed and calm.

Here are some ways to reduce stress:

• Start your day unhurried. Do what you can the night before to be better prepared in the morning or get up twenty minutes earlier.

• When you open your eyes in the morning, list three things for which you’re grateful; start on a positive note because this sets the tone for the rest of the day.

• Chunk down big to-dos into smaller tasks. Even Tom Brady chunks a one hundred yard drive into forty downs (4 downs per ten yards).

• Take time outs. Give your mind and nervous system a break for a few minutes throughout the day. Breathe, laugh or go outside for five minutes of fresh air and sunshine. Upon returning to work you’ll see things more clearly and be more positive.

• STOP information overload. Only check emails once you get to work, mid-day and before going home for the day. Otherwise it’s death by in-box, and the very things you should’ve gotten done remain undone at the end of the day, which creates all kinds of crazy for your life and relationships (and your next pay raise or promotion).

• Take five minutes to create/review your schedule for the next day before leaving work. It creates momentum, clarity, organized thinking and action. You will hit the ground running the next morning. Say goodbye to spinning your wheels and being the constant victim of that person who walks in and says, “Do you have a minute?” No. You don’t. You’re in the middle of living your life and have important things to do. Ask if they can meet after work for a few minutes, or later once you’ve completed your deadline.

4) Acknowledge That There’s Only So Much You Can (or want) To Control

Focus your time and energy on what you can control. Don’t waste your life force on what you can’t control or don’t want to control. Trying to control what you can’t control is a recipe for chronic stress, fatigue, regret and frustration.

In this post, we’ve discussed how and why overanalyzing keeps people from pursuing their dreams by keeping them stuck. Also, we recommended that you create a decision-window where it’s go or no-go. Lastly, we gave you four ways to reduce stress levels in order for you to be calmer and more relaxed to make better decisions.

Consider everything we’ve shared in this post, what’s one thing you’d be willing to do right now that you KNOW will improve your life? You’ve got thirty seconds, go!

The post 4 Ways to Break The Cycle Of Overanalyzing Everything! appeared first on Lifestyle.