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Most people feel sad, lonely or even depressed from time to time because of life’s challenges and pain from loss and disappointments. But when loneliness becomes overwhelming and lasts for a long period of time, it can take a toll on your physical and emotional health.

If you or someone you know is feeling lonely, here are ten tips that might help.

1. Be Kind to Yourself

If there ever was a time for you to be kind to yourself and practice self-care, it’s during life’s difficult moments. Give yourself the gift of grace and compassion during challenging times. Acknowledge the positive progress you’re making no matter how small.

2. Share Your Life (but without being needy…)

Are you on social media? Or part of a group or faith community? When something nice, good or positive happens share it with them. Or tell a friend. Connect. Share what you’re up to – share your goals, projects or a new hobby. People care. And most will share a word of support and encouragement and celebrate your wins. But you have to take the lead.

3. Connect In Person

Nothing beats face-to-face social connection. Meeting for coffee or a quick lunch can keep feelings of loneliness in check. And you’ll see and know that you are not alone.

4. Be Available

If you’re the type of person who’s always busy and says “no” when people invite you to do things, they’ll stop inviting you. Make time to see your friends.

5. Animal Companionship

Animal companionship is a great way to relieve loneliness because pets are always glad to see you and are a source of unconditional love. Consider getting a pet if you have the time, ability and resources. If not, perhaps someone you know has a pet you can enjoy occasionally.  Animals just have a way of making us feel happy.

6. Be Brave and Say “Hi”

It isn’t easy saying “hi” to someone you don’t know. But interacting with people you don’t know can ease feelings of loneliness.  Be friendly. Smile. Open a door. Give a compliment. Even minimal social interactions are good for your mental health and can ease loneliness.

7. Interact Online

There are thousands of groups online. Find one that mirrors your beliefs, lifestyle, and interests. Participate. Start conversations. Learn about in-person events. Network, and be a part of the community.

8. Podcasts and YouTube

Listening to and watching information on a topic of interest can take your mind off your pain and loneliness, especially if the content is geared towards helping you cope and grow with what you’re going through. You’ll be mentally and emotionally stimulated and feel less lonely.

9. Help Someone – Make a Difference

Few things combat feelings of loneliness than volunteering. Focusing on others is a healthy way to stop focusing on your situation. Making a difference is a great way to feel good about your life and feel less lonely. Plus you’ll make friends and great connections in the process.

10. Shift Your Thoughts

Feeling lonely is tough. It hurts. It’s a horrible feeling. But thinking about it only makes it worse. When you catch yourself thinking about loneliness, remember: being lonely doesn’t mean that people don’t like you or that you don’t have what it takes to be a friend. It won’t be easy but shift your thinking away from the pain to a solution: “I am going to interact with people…I am going to connect socially and be less lonely.” Be positive. Take productive action. You don’t worry or think yourself out of loneliness. You get out of loneliness by taking action.

So, reach out and connect to people you know and don’t know. Be a friend and be friendly. Take a genuine interest in others and make a difference. You can and will beat loneliness. You are NOT alone. You are amazing and always loved.

Photo by Tijs van Leur on Unsplash

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Antidepressants and psychological counseling, or both, can improve major depression and ease its symptoms.

Depression can be caused by some form of loss (loss of a job or a relationship), death, or medical conditions like thyroid disorders. However, major depression is not the same, and it is much more severe.

What are the symptoms and signs of Major Depression?

Here are some signs and symptoms of depression used to diagnose major depression. They are severe enough to cause problems with day to day routine activities such as school, work, or social duties and can lead to relationship issues with your friends and loved ones.

• You may feel sad, tearful, empty, and hopeless
• Loss of interest in all normal activities: Sports, hobbies, sex
• You may have angry outbursts, frustrations, or irritability even over minor matters
• Sleep disruption
• You may feel tired and lethargic, no energy, making even small tasks feel difficult and effortful.
• Becoming restless and agitated often
• Anxiety
• Loss of appetite and weight loss are common, but some people have food cravings which lead to weight gain
• You may experience what feels like slow thinking, speaking, and moving
• Or have difficulties with concentration, decision making, and memory
• Struggle with feeling worthless and guilty, which may cause self -blame and fixating on past failures
• Unexplained physical ailments like headaches and backaches
• And lastly, thoughts of self-harm or suicide; seek help immediately

These are the most common signs of major depression and are usually intense. People with major depression require immediate attention and care.

And here’s the tricky thing, although a traumatic event can cause major depression or a series of events, it can occur without any obvious crisis or cause. It may occur as a single episode of depression or multiple episodes, which may follow after several symptom-free periods.

What are the causes of major depression?

There’s still no concrete evidence to determine the exact causes of major depression; however, genetic predisposition plays a role. Scientists believe that biological and environmental factors may play a role in the development of major depression. Some trigger factors include dietary problems, sleep issues like obstructive sleep apnoea, medical conditions, childbirth, and seasonal changes.

When should you seek help?

If you feel depressed and it affects your daily activities and relationships with your loved ones, seek help.

How will your doctor diagnose depression?

After taking a detailed medical history, your doctor will do a physical examination to exclude any underlying physical conditions that might be causing the symptoms. Certain blood tests will be ordered, such as full blood count and thyroid function tests.

Your mental health professional will ask about your symptoms, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. It’s common for a questionnaire to be given for further evaluation.

The American Psychiatric Association has published a Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Many doctors prefer to use the symptom criteria of major depressive disorder in DSM-5 to diagnose major depression.

How is Major depression treated?

Medication and psychotherapy are used to treat people with major depression. Prescription medicines will relieve your symptoms gradually. You may benefit through psychological counseling and behavioral therapy by meeting a psychologist or a mental health provider. Sometimes hospital admission may be necessary for the initial management of major depression.

Here are some of the medications used by your doctor to treat major depression; always discuss the benefits and possible side effects with your health care provider to know what to expect.

• Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) – These are safe; side effects are minimal. They help elevate your mood and enlarge the brain’s hippocampus, which is the center for mood and memory. Ex: fluoxetine (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft), citalopram (Celexa)
• Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) – duloxetine (Cymbalta), venlafaxine (Effexor XR)
• Tricyclic antidepressants – They are effective but have more side effects when compared to newer antidepressants. Ex: imipramine (Tofranil), amitriptyline, nortriptyline (Pamelor), protriptyline (Vivactil), doxepin, trimipramine (Surmontil), desipramine (Norpramin)
• Atypical antidepressants – bupropion (Wellbutrin XL, Wellbutrin SR, Forfivo XL, Aplenzin),nefazodone, trazodone, mirtazapine (Remeron), and vortioxetine (Trintellix)
• Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) – These are prescribed when other drugs don’t. They can have severe interactions with certain foods like cheeses, wines, and pickles. Therefore, these prescriptions come with dietary advice. Ex: tranylcypromine (Parnate), Selegiline (Emsam), phenelzine (Nardil), and isocarboxazid (Marplan)
• Other medications – Some medications can be added to an antidepressant to enhance the effects of antidepressants. Ex: mood stabilizers or antipsychotics, anti-anxiety, and stimulant medications

Your psychiatrist will decide the length of treatment. It’s believed that combining medication(s) with supportive psychotherapy or cognitive behavioral therapy will give the best benefits in treating major depression. In fact, research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is the best treatment for depression; however, many patients respond best to a combination of medicine and therapy.

What is the prognosis for Major depression?

The long-term outlook for patients with major depression is usually good. With appropriate medications and cognitive behavioral therapy, you have a great chance of living a fulfilling and happy life without many recurrent episodes. If you, or someone you love, struggles with depression, please seek help from your health care provider without delay.

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Do you worry that your child might be depressed? As parents, we never want to see our children sad. When the sadness prolongs for no reason, it’s easy for us to blame ourselves and become frustrated.

If your child is persistently sad or feels hopeless, it could be a sign that he or she may suffer from depression.

What is Depression?

Depression is a mood disorder that leads to constant feelings of sadness or a lack of energy and motivation. It can affect how you think, feel, behave and cause various physical and emotional problems.

Common Causes of Depression

Peer pressure and academic expectations may trigger depression in adolescents.

Children are likelier to experience sadness and depression when they deal with tough life circumstances. In childhood, both girls and boys are almost equally affected. When it comes to adolescence, girls are affected twice as much as boys. This is quite similar to the adult rates.

The signs and symptoms to look for in adolescent depression are:

• Sadness or hopelessness
• Loss of interest in activities
• Lack of energy
• Irritability, anger, or hostility
• Poor school performance
• Changes in eating and sleeping habits
• Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
• Difficulty concentrating
• Suicidal tendencies

Treatment for Depression

The good news is that there are several medical treatments for depression. Treatment may include psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT), or even antidepressant medication.

Antidepressant medications relieve the symptoms of depression and prevent it from coming back. If medication isn’t an option, there are natural wellness techniques worth trying. Exercising, meditation, and yoga are useful techniques that research has proven can help alleviate stress and balance your child’s mood.

Keep in mind that you’re not alone. You can take other steps to help better navigate you and your child through these difficult times. There are outreach programs and support groups in your community to assist with your child’s mental health needs, or that can point you in the right direction. With the right tools in place, your child will be headed to recovery and live a fulfilling life free from the effects of depression.

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What does any of this have to do with mental health?

Interestingly, neuroplasticity can work for or against you. Bad and good habits are equally capable of triggering changes in your brain.

Anxiety and depression can alter the structure of your brain. The hippocampus actually shrinks when you’re experiencing depression, and the volume of gray matter in your brain decreases when you’re experiencing anxiety. It’s a good thing these changes are reversible!

Avoidance isn’t the Answer

Physical or emotional avoidance provides instant relief and is most people’s go-to-solution for anxiety and depression. For instance, if you have social anxiety, staying home as much as you can seems like a good solution.

However, all this does is cause the neural pathways associated with social aptitude to die-off, making your anxiety worse. Continued exposure is the only way to protect those parts of your brain.

How to Rewire Your Brain

New Environments and Experiences

This is probably the last thing you want to hear if you have anxiety, but exposure to new environments can open up new pathways and connections in the brain. This is actually one of the hidden benefits of traveling; new friends, experiences, and memories trigger the release of dopamine. More dopamine means more motivation, and as a result, less depressive symptoms.

You don’t need to spend loads of money on an exotic vacation to get these benefits. Start with that new restaurant that you’ve been dying to try, a new hiking trail, or basically anything else that takes you to someplace you’ve never been.

New Skills

Always wished you could play an instrument but never had the motivation to learn? This could be the boost you need.

Learning new skills is the easiest and most effective way to trigger neuroplasticity. Ever heard the phrase “If you don’t use it you lose it”? Well, if you haven’t learned anything new in a while, the connections in the ‘learning center’ of your brain are probably close to dying off! Go ahead and sign up for some classes before they do! Art, cooking, language, and music classes are all beneficial as long as you’re learning something new.

Exercise

Exercise increases blood flow to the brain, which triggers an increase in the volume of gray matter and connections. According to a study with Parkinson patients, new brain cells can form after just two months of exercise. Also, while some exercise is better than none, higher levels of exercise get you faster results.

New experiences, new skills, and exercise are probably the most effective triggers of neuroplasticity, but they’re also a big undertaking. If you’re looking to start small, here are some tips for you.

● Read fiction – This requires using your imagination, which is probably something you haven’t had a chance to do in a while.

● DIY project – whether you decide to paint one of your rooms a different color, build a new cabinet or redecorate, it’s all beneficial for your brain.

● Sleep – Nothing kills brain cells and connections faster than lack of sleep. So, evaluate your sleep routine and find ways to improve it like having a set bedtime, or banning screens from your bedroom.

The volume of gray matter and connections in your brain play a major role in your mental health. Luckily, you have a lot more control over those two things than you think. Try exposing yourself to new environments, learning new skills, and committing to an exercise program for at least two months and see how much better you feel!

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It can take a particularly rough morning and turn it into “I have the worst luck in the world!” or a slightly strange look from a stranger becomes “he /she doesn’t like me” or a myriad of other negative thoughts.

These types of thoughts are the result of cognitive distortions, and they can be awful for your mental health. They can reinforce negative emotions like anger and frustration, and perpetuate mental health issues such as anxiety and depression

Research suggests that cognitive distortions are a part of the brain’s survival mechanism and are useful in protecting us in dangerous short-term situations. However, in the long term, they wreak havoc on our mental health.

Interestingly, people who’ve been through severe traumatic events are more prone to cognitive distortions.

5 Common Cognitive Distortions That Can Steal Your Joy

Black-and-White Thinking

The official name for this distortion is polarized thinking. It refers to an inflexible type of thinking that sees things as either all good or all bad and makes people believe that they’re either perfect or a total failure.

Overgeneralization

This type of thinking exaggerates a situation by turning it into a generalized pattern that goes something like this, “I always make mistakes.”

Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing is common in people with anxiety and panic disorder. It involves expecting the worst-case scenario in any given situation and overreacting to the scenarios you’ve made up in your mind.

Personalization

This is where you blame yourself for everything, even things that are clearly not your fault. You may also believe you’re being singled out or targeted when something bad happens to you, which makes anxiety and depression worse.

Ignoring the Positive

This distortion filters the positive and focuses on the negative. It causes you to focus on the one thing that went wrong instead of the many things that went well.

Jumping to Conclusions

People who think like this might see themselves as fortune-tellers or mind readers! They make predictions based on very little evidence and often believe they know what other people are thinking. Curiously, their predictions and readings seem to be mostly negative and rarely positive! Jumping to conclusions is distorted thinking.

How to Get Rid of Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most effective way of dealing with these and other harmful thinking patterns. This type of therapy focuses on changing your thinking patterns today rather than exploring what happened in your past to shape your thinking patterns.

There are things you can do on your own to challenge your negative thinking patterns, too.

First, make a habit of separating what you do from who you are. Just because you make mistakes sometimes, doesn’t mean you’re not smart.

Second, make a habit of listing your options to keep yourself from making decisions based on little or no information. You can also use this technique to deal with overgeneralization and catastrophizing. Listing everything that went well vs. citing everything went wrong, shifts your focus back to reality, and helps you realize things aren’t so bad.

Understanding the different types of cognitive distortions makes it much easier to identify the root causes of your negative thoughts. Use your power to nip them in the bud so they stop stealing your joy!

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Are you really healthy if you’re in great physical condition but other parts of your life are filled with pain or discomfort?

Sure, you might’ve passed those doctor-ordered medical tests with flying colors, and were deemed healthy. But if you’re feeling stressed out or are struggling with relationships and loneliness, although you might be healthy technically, the truth is you’re not completely well.

Well-being includes emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual health. To be your healthiest and happiest self, you must focus on the whole person. Use these four steps to start enjoying whole-person health.

Exercise

Physical activity is essential for getting everything you can from life. If not already doing so, become more physically active even if it’s just walking a few minutes in the evening after dinner. Physical activity improves quality of life.

The minimum recommendation is 2.5 hours of moderate-intensity activity weekly. If you’re not a fan of the gym, don’t worry. You may accumulate these health-boosting minutes through various activities like swimming, walking, taking the stairs, etc. Just get moving!

Managing Stress

Stress wreaks havoc on the mind and body. It’s associated with high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. It can cause mood swings, and increase risk of self-harm because of associated feelings of anxiety and depression. Stress is most dangerous when it becomes chronic, which happens when you’re under stress for a prolonged period of time without relief.

Here are some proven stress management techniques. Practice
them early and often to prevent stress from getting out of control:

• Exercise
• Meditation, or a few minutes of slow, deep breathing
• Say “no” more often and create boundaries
• Celebrate and share life with your family and friends
• Take care of yourself, so there’s enough of you to go around
• Make time for exercise and eating healthy because you’re worth it!
• Live life! Enjoy a hobby, read a book, listen to music, travel, watch a movie

Boost Your Mental
Health

We don’t give mental health the attention it deserves
because of associated stigmas. We don’t want people to think we’re unhinged or
unstable. Mental health affects every single area of our life! Without good
mental health, how can we be our best personally, or excel at work and home?

Here are four proven ways to improve mental wellness:

• Engage in physical activity because it boosts
  mood for several hours
• Get 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night
• Make time for yourself by doing something YOU
  enjoy
• Make it a point to socialize with friends and
  family

Eat Healthy

Although you don’t have to eat perfectly all the time, what you eat affects your energy, mood, health, and how you feel about yourself.  So aim for a whole foods diet that fuels your body with the highest quality vitamins, minerals, protein, and fiber.

Avoid sugary beverages, and consider eliminating alcohol. Lastly, monitor your sugar intake. The American Heart Association recommends no more than 100 calories of added sugar daily for women, which is about 6 teaspoons (25 grams; 4 grams of sugar per teaspoon), and 150 calories a day for men (about 37 grams, or roughly 9 teaspoons).  Also, increase your water intake to keep well hydrated.

Remember, although you might be considered healthy technically because you passed certain medical tests, you’re not completely well if you’re suffering discomfort in mind, heart, or soul.

Your path to living life to the fullest includes the whole
person.

So, be kind to yourself by practicing self-care, get out and move, make better food choices most of the time, manage stress, enjoy life by doing fun things, and celebrate friends and family.

Choose to live each day to the fullest!

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Teens go through so many intense changes all at once that it can be a bit overwhelming. Without a strong support system and a healthy outlet for their stress, they can quickly slip into a depressive state.

Recognizing Teen Depression

Most teenagers are moody and predictable, which makes it
difficult for parents to tell whether they’re depressed or just being a
teenager. The main symptoms of teen depression are failing grades, unexplained
outbursts & violence, poor personal hygiene, self-destructive behaviors,
sulking and excessive sleeping or insomnia.

One symptom on its own may appear meaningless but several symptoms
could be a sign of something bigger.

Causes of Teen
Depression

Being a young adult who is in the process of finding his or
her place in life is stressful. Most teens experience self-doubt and social
anxiety, which are made worse by bullying and peer pressure.

Some teens also suffer from traumas and chemical imbalances,
which make them likelier to slip into depression.

Sadly, untreated depression can be deadly. Depressed teens often experiment with risky behaviors such as drugs and sexual promiscuity, which can scar them for life.

Even worse, many depressed teens have suicidal thoughts. Everyday
a teen commits suicide as a result of depression, and every year the total
number of teen suicides increases.

What Parents Can Do

As a parent, there are steps you can take to save your
child. Start by talking to them and offering a listening ear. Sometimes that’s
all they need.

Try not to be judgmental, critical or dismissive, even if you think what they’re going through isn’t a big deal. It’s a big deal to them and that’s all that matters!  Your job is to be supportive.

Think back to when you were a teen and how you felt. Consider sharing some experiences so your teen knows he or she is normal. Most importantly, share how you got through those challenging times, and let them know that you’ll get through this together – that they are NOT alone.

If your teen doesn’t want to talk, help them find a positive outlet for their stress. Get them involved in healthy extracurricular activities such as sports, music, or volunteerism.

If you suspect your teen’s depression is at an advanced stage or they are having suicidal thoughts, they need to see a doctor as soon as possible for proper diagnosis and treatment.

The doctor may prescribe medication to manage their depression. It’s your job as a parent to make sure your teen follows whatever protocol your healthcare professional has outlined to improve their mental health.

Lastly, if your teen is having problems at school, get their school guidance counselor involved because it can help them feel safer at school and also be a source of encouragement and support for making better choices.

Parenting a teen is all about assuring them that they aren’t navigating this big scary world alone, while also allowing them some independence. Doing this makes them feel safe and lets them know that they are loved and supported by the people (you and your family) who love them most.

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