Shame

Shame can make eliminating self-destructive behaviors challenging. 

It’s easy to sink into shame when we mess up. Instead of realizing that we made a mistake or did something terrible, it’s easy to label ourselves as someone bad or a failure; we internalize our shame. 

Shame isn’t the same as guilt. Guilt is a response to behavior, but shame is a negative feeling of self. 

The Role Shame Plays in Self-Destructive Behaviors

At the root of most self-destructive behaviors is shame.

Often, self-destructive behavior is an attempt to correct the painful emotion(s) you’re dealing with. And all it does is lead to even more shame, triggering a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior. 

Shame makes you withdraw and isolate; shame breeds shame. 

Sometimes we struggle with hidden shame, which might manifest in self-destructive behaviors like addiction, rage, and avoidance. 

Poor behavior, silence, and secrecy fuel shame. 

Adults shame children into compliance. In children, you create shame by harshly judging, criticizing, and scolding them. It can also be created by physical or sexual abuse and abandonment. 

Disrupting The Shame Cycle

Stopping your self-destructive behavior requires a new vision for your life and decisive action. 

Start changing a self-destructive behavior by replacing it with an affirming behavior, and then reward it!

You begin rewiring your brain by rewarding and celebrating the new affirming behavior.

You repeat this until a new neural pathway is created and a new way of living has taken hold, creating a new and higher standard for your life. 

But you must also deal with the shame. 

Pride (the good kind, not arrogance) is one way to start healing feelings of shame. 

Make choices and engage in behaviors that generate self-respect and pride. 

Shatter the secrecy of destructive behaviors by sharing your journey with a counselor, therapist, or other people you can trust deeply and who will understand and accept you.  

Challenge Your Self-Talk

Negative self-talk makes it so hard to break self-destructive behavior. 

Realize that your negative self-talk is lying to you because that’s no longer the person you choose to be!

Identify the negative self-talk when it comes, correct it, and replace it. 

Don’t be embarrassed about reaching out for help. Having people on your side is a powerful resource. Rely on them for support when breaking free from self-destructive behaviors. 

The Journey Isn’t Over…

It’s just beginning. A mistake doesn’t mean your journey is over. 

Failure is a chance to learn, grow, and move on. 

You can’t change everything overnight; it’s a process. But you can travel in a new and better direction every day! How you decide to respond to failure determines your destiny.

Know Your Triggers

Do you know what triggers your self-destructive behavior? Learn what triggers you so you can avoid those situations or at least have some coping strategies in mind when things don’t go the way you hoped or planned. 

Prepare and plan for difficult situations because you know that your self-destructive behavior manifests in certain situations. Have a plan ready to deal with those situations so you respond intentionally instead of reacting mindlessly when they arise or take you by surprise. 

Own It…

Ultimately, it will take time and effort to overcome your self-destructive behaviors. There is no fast track here – you must commit to change, but unlocking your best life is ultimately worth it. So live with tomorrow in mind and the person you have chosen to become!

The post How To End Self-Destructive Behavior appeared first on Lifestyle.

To rephrase a popular statement, the habits that got you here won’t get you where you want to go. 

You change your life when you change your habits. 

But it isn’t about “breaking” bad habits; it’s about replacing them with good ones. 

But what if you’re mostly okay with your life? What’s so terrible about having (enjoying) a few bad habits? 

For starters, bad habits keep you from reaching your goals, harm your health, and waste your time and energy. 

Bad habits are dangerous. 

Here are the top 5 you should replace today. 

Insufficient Sleep

Sufficient sleep is a necessity, not a luxury. Sure, you can grind your way through 4-5 hours of sleep a night, but you will pay the price sooner or later and won’t like it very much. 

Sleep plays a vital role in stress management. Insufficient sleep leads to bad decisions, and bad decisions lead to stress and emotional health challenges.

Insufficient sleep also takes years off your life. Want to die before your time? Skimp on sleep. 

Sleep restores and maintains your system. The body and brain make repairs during sleep. 

Adequate rest and sufficient sleep are vital to your health, happiness, and well-being. 

Create bedtime rituals that support healthy sleep habits. Avoid sleep-disrupting chemicals like alcohol, caffeine, and sugary foods a few hours before bedtime. 

And consider shutting off screens and reading a book while taking a relaxing bath instead. 

Gadget Drain

How often have you had your phone, laptop, and tablet all on at the same time, and the television, too?

Has life really come to this, where we must interact with every device simultaneously to entertain ourselves and not be bored? 

First, too much screen time takes a toll on your eyesight. 

Secondly, we all know by now how the blue light emitted by electronic screens affects the body’s melatonin levels, disrupting sleep.  

Start replacing this bad habit by at least reducing your gadgets’ brightness and holding them about a foot away from your eyes while browsing. This should help with your melatonin levels. And remember to take frequent breaks from your screens, too.

Sitting Too Much

People who spend most of their time sitting down risk their health severely. If this sounds like you, you need to make some changes. 

Excessive sitting has been associated with obesity, muscle wastage, cancer, and decreased bone density.

Your body was designed to move. To be active. To live! So get up and move around!

The answer isn’t quitting your sedentary job and finding a one that forces you to be active. 

But you can set the alarm to remind yourself to get up every hour and get a glass of water, use the restroom, or brew some coffee for the office. 

Sitting and not moving slows your metabolism and makes you injury prone. 

If you work from home, take occasional breaks and do a few jumping jacks, or run/walk in place during commercials while watching television. 

Be creative. Find an activity you enjoy and then do it to raise your heart rate and get some exercise to reverse the damage of sedentary living.  

Too Much Fast Food

Granted, this is a hard habit to replace for many people because this food is fast, easy, cheap, and so tempting when racing home from work, feeling tired and depleted, and all you want to do is rest.

(And even the non-fast food options aren’t exactly healthy either because of all the salt, fat, and sugar.)

Fast food is loaded with trans fats, which cause weight issues, diabetes risk, high cholesterol, heart disease, and inflammation.

And even though the food tastes great, you don’t feel so great soon after eating it. 

Save fast food for the occasional (rare) treat and prepare healthy meals at home instead. 

Make meal preparation easier by following a menu and prepping ahead of time, using a slow cooker, and taking turns cooking, if possible. You can even make healthier versions of some of your fast food treats at home.

Alcohol

Alcohol is a touchy subject. But the truth is, it’s best left alone, especially considering how many people have a family history of alcoholism. Wine is also unnecessary for heart health because you can get the same benefit from drinking a few ounces of unfermented, pure grape juice (unless you have diabetes, in which case you should avoid fruit juice altogether because it’s loaded with sugar). 

Alcohol affects your liver and mental health and weakens your reasoning and decision-making abilities. It can even negatively affect your bones, fat loss efforts, memory, and blood pressure. 

Bad habits can shorten your life, damage relationships, pack on the pounds, cause exhaustion, disrupt sleep, and throw your system into metabolic disarray, to name a few. 

Why not begin unlocking your best life today by replacing your bad habits, especially any of these five, with life-enhancing, energy-producing, relationship-building habits that fill your life with a lot more joy, peace, and satisfaction?

Photo by Manan Chhabra on Unsplash

The post The Top Five Bad Habits You Need To Replace appeared first on Lifestyle.