Money and economics are the leading cause of stress. In fact, the stress and anxiety we’re facing is growing into a national health crisis.

Americans are one of the most stressed out in the world, according to Stress.org

55% of Americans are stressed during the day, and 94% are stressed at work, and 63% are ready to quit their jobs to avoid work-related stress.

But here’s the deal: Life was stressful already- before rampant inflation, the housing meltdown, the stock market retreat, droughts, floods, famines, ongoing supply chain disruptions due to COVID, not to mention the ongoing war in Europe, and the global energy crisis forcing some families to choose between food, fuel, or power.

Stress is an angry 800-lb gorilla that’s knocked us to the ground and won’t get off our chest.

Life is nothing like it was for our grandparents; it’s fast and busy.

These days, both husband and wife must work to make ends meet. In many cases, there’s a single parent at the helm treading water, trying to keep the family afloat. Not to mention side hustles to bring in needed cash. And that’s before you get around to taking care of the house and raising the family.

Life is overwhelmingly busy with day-to-day survival! Gone are the days of clocking out at the end of the workday to enjoy a peaceful, much-needed evening at home, especially with email, instant messaging, and work texts!

But we’re not always our own best friend either because we waste time on social media, silly videos, and mind-numbing entertainment.

The result? Nothing ever gets better. And we’re more stressed than ever.

Will things ever change? No. Not until you reach the point where you’ve had enough.

If you’re ready to stop doing everything and start reducing the overwhelming stress in your life, read on.

1. Pay Attention To Your Day

Time matters because time = life. Every minute you spend doing something is a minute of your life force that you’re paying to do “that” thing.

So make it worth it. Don’t waste your life.

Your day is your life. What are you spending your life on? How do you spend it?

Consider a time log to track where your time goes because you’re paying bits and pieces of your life for whatever it is that you’re doing.

Don’t make it complicated. A simple piece of paper works great, or a cheap notebook. Set a timer to go off every 30 minutes during waking hours, and jot down what you’re doing.

Be honest with yourself. If you’ve been wasting time watching silly videos, write it down. Your time log is for your eyes only. You can even rip it up and throw it away in a few days when you’re finished with it.

Please be honest with yourself so you can take charge of your life to start living it on your terms.

At the end of the day, review how you spend your time. After a few days, you’ll see patterns emerge, some of which you’ll be okay, some you won’t.

2. Cross off the Unnecessary or Meaningless Things 

Make this simple. Cross off the things you want to stop doing or want to do less of because they’re just not worth spending your life on.

Perhaps you can delegate some items that need to be done, but you’re not the one who has to do them, at least all the time.

3. Add Value

It feels good to free up time. Now give yourself the gift of adding valuable activities and experiences to your new-found time. Perhaps you’ll have time for exercise, self-care, meditation, or time for your loved ones.

4. Take a Mental Detox

On another sheet of paper or two, list your worries, problems, struggles, and things you feel you “should do” but aren’t giving them your time or attention.

List things you’ve been thinking or wanting to do.

Now, put your list somewhere safe and leave it alone for a while. Take a walk or go for a drive – put some distance between you and all of those things.

Get it ALL out of your mind – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

5. Master List

Come back to the list in a few hours or the next day after sleeping on it for a while; time creates emotional space and objectivity.

You’re going to create a master list in a second but we have a little more pruning before you do. Look at your list and cross off as much as you can. Things that you can’t control or do anything about, release; let them go.

Circle stuff that needs to get done that someone else can start doing for you or at least give you a little help.

Now look at the things you want to do; they might be dreams or goals or projects; prioritize them according to importance; asterisk the ones you want to start now; make a note of the ones you’ll start a little later.

Now, look at your list again. Draw a line down the middle of a new sheet of paper; now draw a line across the page two or three inches from the bottom. In the top, left column, write the things you will do, along with noting the things you will delegate or get help with from now on. In the top, right column, list any remaining worries, concerns, or challenges along with one or two things you’ll do to tackle them to get them under control.

In the bottom left column, list the hopes, dreams, or goals you’re going to begin now – and schedule time in your calendar this week to start doing them. In the bottom right column, list your hopes, dreams or goals you’ll start in a month or two.

By the end of this exercise, which you may work through more than once, if you wish, you’ll have much shorter lists than you started with, and your spirit will feel much lighter.

Why? Because you’re taking control. The process is less about getting clarity and more about taking charge of your life – even if it’s just controlling one or two additional areas of your life.

It can be a somewhat messy, frustrating process at first, but it’s worth it because you’ll start spending your life on things worthy of your heartbeats and breaths.

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Shyness used to be seen negatively as an unpleasant emotional state related to loneliness or social anxiety, a perspective that is being questioned.

If you consider yourself shy, you’re not alone because about 40 to 60 percent of all adults consider themselves shy, according to a recent survey results report. 

 Regardless of one’s opinion regarding shyness or why they’re shy, here are five ways to be less shy.

Identify the “Thing” That Makes You Feel Shy

Look, chances are you don’t feel shy all the time, only in certain situations. There are social environments and situations where you feel relaxed and comfortable. 

So, to start to feel less shy, identify the “thing” or situation that makes you feel shy. 

Maybe it’s public speaking (which takes a toll on most people’s nerves, by the way), asking someone out, or simply being alone in a crowded or unfamiliar space. 

By identifying what triggers your shyness, you can form a game plan for dealing with such situations when they arise with action steps to push through your shyness. 

Be Informed

Staying informed on current events or certain topics helps boost your confidence in social situations to engage with people conversationally. 

For instance, if you tend to feel shy at parties, watch a trending video or do a little bit of research on a current event. By being well informed about an issue, you can join discussions or start your own.  

Set A Goal – Push Yourself 

You might admire and aspire to be like the person, that social butterfly, who seems to navigate social settings seamlessly and makes friends effortlessly. Who knows, perhaps they were as shy as you once. 

Set a goal to boost your confidence and hone that social skill. A good starting place to consider might be to share a story or piece of information with a group of friends the next time you’re together. Step into the spotlight; take center stage. Lead the conversation. Enjoy the experience a few times. 

Then, once you’re comfortable taking the lead with your friends from time to time, consider sharing valuable information or a report to a group of your colleagues. 

Finally, another goal to consider might be to go to the mall or another safe place and practice smiling and saying hi to five or six strangers. If a conversation ensues, enjoy it! 

Set small goals to push through your feelings of shyness.

Journal Your Successes

Pushing through your feelings of shyness is a big deal! Try to keep track of your successes. Celebrate your wins! Next time you’re feeling a little shy, read your journal to boost your confidence. 

Before long, you will be surprised by how far you’ve come and be inspired to keep pushing forward. Psychologists claim that reading how far you have progressed is a great way to stay motivated and keep trying. 

Be Kind To Yourself And Take It Slow

No one stops feeling shy overnight. Embrace the process and new person you’re becoming. And find ways to reward yourself. 

It’s important to take your time because rushing and “crashing and burning” could be so intimidating and painful that you stop trying. So take your time and be consistent in mastering your social abilities. 

Final Words

Shy people tend to spend a lot of time inside their heads, analyzing every little detail. It’s easy to read into situations and distort experiences, seeing things that weren’t even there. You don’t “think” yourself out of shyness. You “act” your way out of shyness. So, don’t beat yourself up; take as long as you need. With consistency and determination, you’ll eventually overcome any overwhelming feelings of shyness. Who knows…perhaps one day soon you’ll become the social butterfly that others aspire to be!

The post 5 Ways To Stop Feeling So Shy appeared first on Lifestyle.

Whether we like it or not, change is happening all around us. Sometimes it’s the result of our choices or consequences. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere and smacks us up aside the head.

Then there are times we just get that feeling, and wonder… is it time for a change?

Here are five questions to help determine if you should make a change or not.

1.     Will I be Un/happy in the long run?

Will the change make your life more fulfilling or satisfying?

Will it result in less stress or pain?

Will you gain a deeper sense of peace and happiness?

Are you considering making this change as a way to escape something that you should face?

To answer these questions, spend time thinking about what you want from life. What kind of life do you want to create? What kind of person do you want to become? What are your beliefs, standards and values? And what are some of your dreams?

Life should bring you joy.

If you feel like you’re existing, surviving or “doing time,” perhaps a change is in order. But don’t change for change sake alone. Use change constructively to build and create the kind of life you want to live.

2.     Will making a change support my goals?

Once you’ve figured out what kind of life you want to live you can start identifying some of your short-term, medium, and long-term goals.

Achieving goals takes action – action that will probably require you to make some changes. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone when the action you’re taking results in a better life.  And remember, as your life changes your goals might, too. Growth is a process. So be ready to adjust your goals.

3.     Do I really want this?

If you’re thinking about making a change make sure it’s a change that YOU want for your life. As a general rule of thumb, don’t make a change just to please someone else. Don’t live your life to please other people. Live your life.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other people. Avoid comparing or competing. Work on improving your life and being a better person today than you were yesterday. You’re only competition is with yourself.

Focus on your life and progress. Be proud and grateful of your achievements.

4. Will this change make my life better?

Ask yourself if making a change will improve your life in some way. Whether the change is big or small, it should make your life better, easier, less stressful, happier or more pleasant.

5. Is fear keeping me from making the change

While it’s okay to feel afraid, it isn’t okay to be controlled by fear.  Lean into your fear and face whatever is giving you butterflies. Take a deep breath and move forward courageously.  Once you’ve done the thing, you’ll be stronger and at peace.

In Summary

Change is a part of life – some is wanted and some is unwanted. Regardless, you have the choice to take charge and do your best to create the kind of life you want to live.

If you choose to do nothing, you’ll watch life pass you by from the sidelines; you’ll never really feel fulfilled or content.

We’re either moving forward or slipping backwards. So choose to embrace change and grow. Take charge of change to live your best life; don’t let change take charge of you.

Photo by Paul Skorupskas on Unsplash

The post Is Change A Good Idea? Ask Yourself These 5 Questions appeared first on Lifestyle.

Consider what we’ve been through and experienced in recent months, from social distancing to mandatory mask-wearing and the closure of businesses, recreational areas, public areas, gyms, and even parks. And let’s never forget the countless loss of life.

When you consider everything, death, economic insecurity and devastation, uncertainty, distrust, schools in many states being closed for months, it’s no wonder so many people are battling fear and anxiety.

Uncertainty has always been a part of life. But it feels even more so now than ever before.  People need to feel safe. They want to feel in control of their lives. The events of the past year have left many with feelings of stress, anxiety, and powerlessness.

4 Ways to Guard Your Outlook & Keep Your Sanity

Even  when we’re not battling a pandemic, uncertainty is a part of life. If we’ve learned anything from COVID-19 and how governments and businesses reacted, it’s that, to a large degree, our sense of security was an illusion. We’ve come to realize that we can’t assume that certain things, like jobs and access to employment, will always automatically be there for us.

So if you feel, or have felt, worried or anxious, cut yourself some slack. Life might return to the way it was pre-pandemic, or it might not. Who knows? But you have the power within yourself to stay hopeful and positive. Consider these tips:

Be Grateful

Without minimizing the tragedy and loss that so many have experienced, what are some blessings you enjoy daily? Don’t overlook the small ones. Have you had more time to connect with friends or loved ones? Perhaps even a little more time to enjoy your pets? Perhaps you’ve had the chance to work on a project you’ve been putting off or write the great American novel. Maybe the pandemic has helped you realize what matters most to you – that you were taking certain things for granted.

Gratitude unlocks joy and hope. Despite what you might’ve lost, what are some things for which you can be grateful? Gratitude is a pillar of emotional and mental health. An optimistic outlook does wonders for your overall well-being.

Structure Your Day

Many people have been forced to throw their daily routines out the window. So what? Make a new one – perhaps one that’s more suited to your wants and needs. Open your favorite calendar or notebook, and design a schedule. Include your responsibilities AND goals, and dreams. Scheduling your day imparts a sense of control. Plus, it gives your day purpose and meaning and promotes productivity. Trade worry for peace of mind by taking control of your day. By taking control of your day, you take control of your life because time = life.

Make Relationships a Priority

Stay in touch with colleagues and loved ones via technology if necessary. Although face-to-face is better, it still isn’t possible for everyone just yet, especially with office buildings in certain states still being closed. So use technology to stay connected with people you care about.

Do whatever you can to avoid social isolation at all costs.

Connecting with friends is a great way to cope with fear and anxiety. And it’s fun, too! Initiate contact. Don’t wait for them to reach out to you.

Take Care of Yourself During and After The Pandemic

Self-Care Ideas:

• Enjoy a hot bath or soothing shower
• Journal
• Meditate
• Take relaxing walks in nature
• Plan family dinners/meals
• Focus on faith/spirituality rituals and practices
• Listen to inspiring music
• Engage in physical activity either at the gym or at home
• Limit watching negative news
• Connect socially regularly
• Read
• Volunteer
• Start a side business – pursue your dream!
• Set aside time for your passions and interests
• If you have a partner, enjoy mutual massages

Remember: YOU are in charge of your life. It might not feel like it when restrictions are forced upon you. But it’s up to you how you manage your response and lead your life.

Have faith in yourself. And be a pillar of strength and encouragement for others. The pandemic has been scary for a lot of people. You’re not alone. We’re here to support each other – to make someone’s life better.

Do what you can to stay healthy, be positive, help others, and take care of yourself. These simple practices will safeguard your well-being and keep you sane because they put YOU in charge of your life, taming fear and worry during the pandemic and its aftermath.

Let your faith and courage, not your worries and fears, define your life and shape your future.

Image by Alexandra A life without animals is not worth living from Pixabay

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How much does fear rule your life? Is it turning you into a person you don’t like? Is it an unwanted companion you wish would go away?

Here are five common fears and tips for dealing with them.

1. You let what people think of you affect how you live

It’s nice to feel accepted… to belong. But when you compromise who you are to fit in and be accepted, something needs to change.

Never let the fear of rejection shape your desires or the kind of person you want to become.

Settling for a life that isn’t truly yours is settling for life in prison.

Never let people control how you act, think, or live. Sure, they have an influence – but not a controlling influence. Living a life of reaction isn’t living at all.

Your life is YOURS to live.

So decide what YOU want! Stop making unhealthy compromises just to fit in or be accepted. Don’t change who you just to keep “love” or certain people in your life.

Decide what you want and don’t want. Set realistic, achievable goals. And take action because “action” is an effective strategy for escaping fear’s grip.

2. You keep your thoughts and desires to yourself

The fear of criticism is as powerful as the fear of rejection. You might think that if they really knew how you thought or felt – if they knew the REAL you – they might not like you. So what? Is pretending to be something you’re not and sacrificing your happiness really worth it?

The thing is, people can tell when you’re holding back, leading them not to trust you or wondering if you’re being deceptive.

Give yourself the gift of being honest. It might take courage at first but peace of mind and heart, along with self-respect, are worth the risk.

Respect your ideas enough to share them because your thoughts, feelings, and desires are just as important as anyone else’s.

3. You resist trying new things

The fear of failure keeps us from taking chances and risks – even well-calculated ones.

This type of fear shows up as putting things off, sabotage, panic, and anxiety attacks.

The fear of failure is crippling. It undermines our abilities and confidence. We start believing things like, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m not worthy,” or “I’ll never be as good as they are.”

If this sounds like you, find some inspiring quotes that give you the courage to move forward; keep them where you can see them all the time, like on a mirror or the refrigerator, to be reminded often of how amazing you are. As you take action, your self-confidence will grow, and your life will improve little by little.

4. You avoid doing the right thing

Fear makes people do things they know are wrong. It can also keep them from doing what they know is right by either saying nothing or doing nothing.

Are you afraid of offending someone, being punished, judged, rejected, ostracized, or of retaliation?

When forced to choose between right and wrong, remember your principles and what you believe.

Decide to stand up for what’s right.

If you need some courage to do the right thing, write on a piece of paper, all the things fear will cost you or others if you stand idly by and do nothing. Then, burn it up and move forward bravely.

5. You settle for less than you want or deserve

You settle for a career that’s just “okay,” or a safe but passionless relationship or you settle for “average” health that’s just a few pounds overweight.

You fool yourself into believing that it isn’t really that bad. “It could be worse,” you think… at least you’re safe and know what to expect.

You get one life. Never settle; it doesn’t do you or anyone else any good. Settling snuffs out hope. Want a dull, boring, numb life? Settle. Settling kills enthusiasm, hope, passion, and creativity.

Want to stop settling? Start taking risks, even small ones. You deserve to live life on YOUR terms; if you’re not trying, you’re not living. And if you’re settling, you’re not free either.

Stop worrying about disappointing people, and start living and dreaming of a brighter, more passionate tomorrow.

Different Types of Fears Holding You Back

Fear is a thief waiting to steal your joy and everything you hold dear to your heart. Here’ a common list of fears we all struggle with from time time:

• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of making a mistake
• Fear of criticism
• Fear of failure
• Fear of abandonment
• Fear of not being popular

Overcoming Your Fears

Below are some helpful tips for transforming fear from something that holds you back into something that propels you forward:

• Examine your values
• Believe in yourself
• Spend time in reflection and meditation
• Practice living in the moment and not in the past or the future
• Keep a journal
• Seek divine guidance
• Realize that you’re not alone
• Take an action every day that reinforces the best version of yourself
• Embrace a little bit of uncertainty in your life
• Be true to yourself no matter

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of courage and start living YOUR life.

Image by analogicus from Pixabay

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